Avengers Drabbles
by nomuseneeded
Summary: A collection of Avengers drabbles, fairly small right now but it might grow. Right now ships are Bruce/Tony, Tony/Thor, and Steve/Thor.
1. Panting For Breath

A/N: I have a headcanon where Thor calls him Captain Steve. I apologize in advance. Also, yes I decided Asgardian alcohol could get Steve drunk. What can I say, this is a little crack fic. Thor/Steve with mentions of Clint/Natasha.

* * *

"Thor," Steve mumbled into the cheap flip phone Tony had gotten him to help him "adjust", "You uhm… You left your hammer on my clothes." He ran his hand through his hair. He'd never actually done this morning after thing before, and he didn't think it was going well. He woke up with a pounding head in an empty bed in a hotel room, entirely unsure of what happened, until he turned and saw a hammer on his suit. Then things started coming back to him in bits and pieces. Him trying to keep up with the god and alcoholic as they pounded back Asgardian shots, Bruce watching from the corner (he said drinking, like everything, made him angry), Natasha and Clint off in a booth, eventually making out. He didn't think even those could make him drunk, and by the time he found out otherwise he was more than a bit tipsy. Bruce left early, Natasha and Clint not long after. Even drunk, Steve knew what they were going to do. Tony rolled his eyes. He seemed exactly like normal, even when closing time came, and when he saw how messed up Steve was he just laughed and told Thor to take care of it. Steve thought his proudest moment of the night would be that he kept from up-chucking all over Thor's chest, but then he fell against that glorious chest in the cab, and then somehow his mouth found the other man's, and then he was losing his virginity to a literal god on a hotel bed. But of course, he wasn't there for the morning. Steve figured it only made sense, Thor being royalty and all he probably slept with whoever he wanted and then just moved right on. Steve wouldn't be surprised if he had concubines. And now he'd have to see him again, only a few hours after, because in the drunken haze of undressing an unmovable hammer happened to fall on his clothes.

"Captain Steve! You're up! I thought I'd let you sleep. You were quite drunk last night."

"Yeah, I sort of remember that. Is there anyway you can help me get my clothes?"

"I'm in the middle of a meeting to determine the relationship between Earth and Asgard. Well, currently I'm in the bathroom stall, talking to you. But I don't think I can leave. I have clothes in my dresser. I'm sure they'll fit you. Then I'll get your suit back for you later today."

"Thanks Thor."

"Of course, my apologies I can't fix it sooner."

"It's not a big deal. Thank you. See you later I guess."

"Captain Steve?"

"Yeah Thor?"

"I want you to know that at least where I'm from, intercourse is a very sacred act, and normally it would change a relationship greatly. I'd like that very much, but I understand you were not aware of this, and I would just like to think about whether or not you'd like anything more. I understand this is sprung on you very quickly and your head is probably sore so I'll let you go now. See you soon Captain Steve."

"Yes Thor. Definitely yes." He wasn't sure what else to say so he quickly slammed the phone shut, panting for breath.


	2. Your Protector

A/N: A little Christmas Thor/Tony.

* * *

Tony smiled, watching the women leave the room. What a perfect Christmas Eve present to himself. He stood up and yawned, stretching. He walked up to the roof of the Stark building, wanting to feel the cool night air and watch the snowfall. When he got there, someone was already standing near the edge, looking around at the city.

"Who's there?"

"Tony!" Thor screamed boisterously, turning around and running over to him. "I've come to save you from the dreaded Santa Claus."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't see why you would want some strange mythical being watching you from your roof tonight. And the day before a holiday no less!"

"What? There shouldn't be any strange mythical beings on my roof at night?" He looked over Thor pointedly.

"But I am your protector!"

"I don't need a protector Thor. I'm Iron Man. Why don't you just come inside? It's snowing."

"Gods are not subject to your worthless little flecks of water."

"Right, well, I am. And you're not staying on my property without me keeping an eye on you. So, you can either come inside with me or you can swing your little hammer around and fly off to mars or wherever you're from." Tony turned around and started walking back towards the door.

"You're not going to wait for Santa with me?"

"Santa isn't real."

"Many of your kind also say that about me."

"Right. Well, again, inside or leave."

"You can't control me."

"I'll go get my suit."

"Be my guest." He swooped out his arm. Tony didn't hesitate to obey. By the time they were finished they were both laying in the snow, giggling like schoolgirls, and children all around the city were sure they saw something flying in the night sky.


	3. A Little Less

A/N: So the first half of this is my own but I should mention the second half is a sequel requested by .com. Another Christmas fic, sorry, and I normally don't think Bruce would turn into Hulk for a bit but this was fun sooo...

* * *

I got you something." Tony said, slipping next to Bruce as he worked.

"Why?" Bruce said, looking up at him uncertainly. "I wasn't aware Avengers did gift exchanges."

"It's Christmas. And I have to do something with all my money." Tony said teasingly. Bruce snorted but took the gift that Tony set in front of him. He opened it slowly. Inside were two huge green fists, replicas of his own.

"Are you trying to make me go Hulk? Is this some joke?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at him. Tony waved it off.

"That was just to hold the presents. I thought it was funny. People looking up to you, you know?" Bruce rolled his eyes, unamused. "You know, I don't think you'd be as bad of a role model as you think. I mean, better than me certainly, and everyone looks up to me. Just see what's inside." Bruce reached into one of the fists and pulled out a stress ball and a handful of chocolate.

"Tony…" He said warningly.

"Oh come on, I had to fill both hands. Try the other one." Bruce sighed but listened. He stuck his hand into it, and was startled to find something hard and metal. He pulled it out. It looked like a phone, but none he had ever seen before.

"One of a kind, made it myself. I tried to set it all up for you." He watched Bruce turn it around in his hands. "That button," He said, pointing, "that one right there." He pressed it.

"Hello Bruce." A women with a soft seductive voice said, screen lighting up. Bruce looked over at Tony.

"Thank you Tony." Bruce said, smiling softly. It wasn't something he wanted really, but he was sure Tony put a lot of time into it.

"Are you still angry?"

"A little less than normal." Tony wondered just how long it would take Bruce to find the hidden message asking for a date, and how exactly he would respond.

* * *

It took a few days for Bruce to get used to the phone Tony had given him for Christmas. Even he had to admit it was quite genius, with the many different uses all tailored just to him. That's why it took him so long to find the message. Because he was too busy playing with it. But when he finally looked through all the notifications on the toolbar he got to the message, Tony's voice ringing out, as clear and cocky as if he were actually there.

"Hey giant green rage monster. I made another special game that I think we should play together. Loser is first naked. Why don't you come over for dinner?" There was a click, signaling the end of the message. Bruce snorted. He hardly thought that was the way to seduce a man like him, but he thought he knew how to seduce a man like Tony.

Bruce never implicitly said he got the message, but he invited Tony over to dinner, refusing when Tony said his place would be better. He wanted to be in control of the situation. Bruce made dinner himself. He was a decent cook. He didn't worry about what Tony liked, and instead made his favorite dinner and desert. He let Tony ramble on whatever he wished, only giving responses when absolutely necessary. He sat a bit away from the table, slumping against the chair, giving Tony the full view of his messily tight clothes, already half hard between the legs. He saw Tony noticed, but both pretended like nothing was happening. Instead he took his time eating, licking at his spoon as often as could be done without being obvious. The discussion eventually began to wane. Bruce took care of the plates then came back, pulling in his chair as he sat across from Tony again, this time leaning in. His leg pressed firmly against Tony's. "I hope this counts as part of your Christmas present."

"Part?" Tony asked, raising a single eyebrow so that his whole face turned into an amused, yet calculating, expression.

"One moment." He stood up and went into his bedroom and came back a few minutes later, holding a condom.

"What, do you think that's going to make me magically undress?" Tony asked, smirking.

"Hardly." Bruce answered, setting it on the table. He closed his eyes, Tony watching uncertainly, until he turned. His normal clothes ripped off as he became The Hulk, but a thin green spandex suit covered his body still, from his neck to his knees, much like a singlet. Then he yanked Tony off the ground, before ripping off his clothes and throwing them to the side with an over-dramatic flare. He threw Tony down, letting him pant for a few moments while he recollected himself and watched Bruce turn back. Tony realized part of the pain was from how quickly he was turned on.

"Well, look who lost." Bruce smirked playfully. "But since it's Christmas I suppose I'll let you put on just one thing." He tossed him the little silver square packaging. "That is, if you still want to play." He fell to his knees.


End file.
